Thankful

Today I am feeling so much gratitude and love towards my Heavenly Father. I don't usually talk religion or anything (because frankly, I believe what I believe and don't care to "debate" with anyone about it.) but today I am so thankful for the Spirit in my life. Sometimes the Spirit comes at the most inconvenient times. Like driving on my way to work. Or sitting at a top light. And that happened to be recently and it just wouldn't go away. After much thought and fight in my head I decided to give in. Not give in the way that the Spirit told me (yes, I'm stubborn) but in my own way. I did it where there could be no response or debate. It was what it was and I would move on once I got it off my chest.

And boy did it feel good! It wasn't easy, but if there's one thing I've learned in my life it's that following the Spirit is almost NEVER easy. That's how Heavenly Father tests us. Sometimes you do have to blindly follow the Spirit even when you have no idea what you are. In this case I had no idea why I was so strongly prompted to say something. But it did make me realize something. That even when things don't go according to plan, that doesn't mean that your day still can't be beautiful and amazing.

I have so many things to be thankful for. The Gospel. My family. My friends. My job. Just my life in general. I may not have everything I want, but I am more then taken care of. I have a roof over my head. I get to come home every day to my beautiful niece and nephew. There is always dinner made (even though I don't usually eat it, my sister does make dinner!). I have a great car. I have family that I know I can count on for anything. I know if there's ever anything I need, I won't be left alone.

I'm so thankful for my job. Most days I don't feel I deserve it and wonder how I got so lucky but I know without a doubt it's because of my faithfulness to follow the Spirit without question. I have quit jobs in the past where people thought I was crazy, but I did what the Spirit told me and I was always taken care of. I never doubted that I would always be taken care of in that department.

I hate that I doubt the fact of marriage. Is it in my cards? Will it happen? Have I met him? Will I meet him? I have no clue. I know without a doubt that is the next stage in my life. What else is there really for me to do? Go back to school? No thanks. I know the next step for me in life is to get married and have a family. (yep, I said family. This girl is growing up, who knew!) But when will it happen?

If it's not in the cards for me, I know I'll be okay. I LOVE being an aunt. I don't know what I ever did before I had nieces and nephews, but I wouldn't trade that for the world. I got to spend a little time with Emma last week for her birthday. I took her to Build-A-Bear and it made me so thankful that I can do that. That I'm able to just spend time with my nieces and nephews.

I know as long as I continue to follow the Spirit I will be taken care of. I can already see blessings from it. Like I said, my job. I'm so thankful for Heavenly Father's trust in me. At times I don't like it. I would much rather him just give me a yes or no answer, not a it's up to you, but if he can trust me, who lacks so much, why can't I trust him, who is perfect?

The brain is a funny thing and it baffles me. We think we know better. We think we can do it on our own. We think. That's the problem, I think. Haha. I know I have a lot of learning to do. So while I'm single, I'm going to do just that. I've always been independent, but now I want to make myself a better person. A person that people can count on, a positive person. I've had to cut people out of my life because of them being so negative and it wasn't until recently that it made me grateful for the positive people in my life.

I got a letter from Dianna the other day and in it she said "I never wonder what my life would be like because I know without a doubt I am where I need to me." I wish I could say the same. I know I'm where I need to be, but I often wonder where I would be if I had made different choices, or if others had made different choices. Would I be married? Have kids? Travel? What? I don't know and I never will. And that's okay. Everything happens for a reason, even if we don't know what that reason is. We just have to put our faith in Heavenly Father.

He won't always reveal to us his plan or purpose. I may never know why I got the prompting I did, but I know I will be blessed for following it. And I know it's not the end of the world. I know that there was worse things out there then talking about my feelings. (What? Once again, this girl is growing up! WHO KNEW!) Does that mean I'm just going to share my feelings all the time and become a stinking girl? Nope. My trust issues may never go away, but I'm not scared of feelings. I'm not scared of having feelings. I'm not scared to admit that I'm not scared. Or that I am scared or lonely or hurt or confused or most importantly - happy. I'm not scared to say I'm happy.

I say bring it, world. Give me all you got. I'm ready to face it with a smile on my face.

That being said - Heres a picture of me and my bug! haha I love her face for some reason!

New haircut

I decided that after the year I have had so far (many ups and downs) that I needed a change. And what better way to change then to chop your hair off? It seems to be what girls do. When you can't control your life and the things happening around you, you do something to your hair. I apparently was no different.

But I really wanted a change. I was tired of people telling me I shouldn't cut my hair, or what my hair was too awesome to cut. I wanted to do it, so I was going to do it. With much encouragement from Kylee (she was more excited then I was, and was cheering me on the whole way haha) I chopped 10 inches off to donate to Locks of Loves (which was my plan the whole time when I started to grow it out). I'd say another two inches or so came off in the end.

I feel like a different person, almost. More confident that I don't have to hide behind my hair anymore. It was almost like a security blanket and I love that it's gone! So far no one has had a bad thing to say about it (at least to my face haha) even the guys that were like don't do it! You're stupid if you do! They even love it.

I took a big risk and I am getting big rewards for it. I know, I know, it's just hair, but still. I feel like I've lost some of my past and I love it. It takes me about half the time to get ready, and I'll save so much in shampoo costs! It's awesome!

But anyway, here is a picture!



I love it and I think I actually look more my age now! haha

Morgan winking

I decided to change my blog around, but didn't have anything to update about... So.. here is a cute video of Morgan "winking" at you. She's a cutie, and takes after me!

A long year.

its been a year since I went through the temple. It seems like just yesterday too but yet it seems like forever ago. This year hasn't been the easiest. Friends have come and gone. Some for amazing reasons, others because of choices. Jobs have also come and gone. I'm in the same boat I was a year ago and I'm okay with that. Everything happens for a reason and I know that.

things have not gotten easier since going through the temple, but it does make things easier to handle. I went and just sat in the temple yesterday and I thought I went there looking for answers when really I was there full of gratitude. I'm so thankfully and lucky to be worthy to go to the temple. To know that my actions are right with the Lord is the greatest blessing ever. To knows that each time I go I'm helping not only myself but people that have passed. Dianna said before she left on her mission "I'm leaving my family for 18 months so other families can be together forever" and the same goes for temple work. We help those people be with their family forever.

I'm not where I thought I'd be a year ago, but I know I'm exactly where I need to be. I may not know why but with time Heavenly Father will reveal the next step for me and until the I will just be grateful for the life I have because I truly am one lucky girl.

Walking down memory lane

I was lucky enough to have a Great Grandmother alive growing up. She passed away at 99 years old and lived a full and happy life. I don't remember too much about her and I was talking to my mom about memories of her and all I could come up with was the one time she called me pudgy and I just remember thinking that's okay, she weighs like 80 pounds, she can say whatever she wants to me. But talking to my mom brought up another memory of her. And while I will always remember her as a flirt and always grabbing every guys butt, I will remember her for saying the F word.

We were all in a car together (My mom, Grandma, Granny and I think my Aunt Charlotte and Aunt Chris) and everyone was trying to force her into my van (she had to have been in her 90s by that point) and she was just getting so frustrated. I'm standing outside the van just thinking to myself "just let her do it herself, if she falls then it's her fault!" and she must have been thinking the same thing because before I knew it she yelled out "I can do this my F'ing self!" I remember stopping dead in my tracks and looking at my mom, with my jaw dropped, thinking this can not be real. My great grandmother did not just say the F word!

But she had. And I burst out laughing. I still couldn't believe it, but yet it was the funniest thing ever to me. I had to call my sisters and tell them. I don't know if they thought it was as funny as I did, but remembering that story did bring tears to my eyes thinking back to how funny it was.

I wish I had more memories, but frankly I have the worst memory ever lately. But I know if I were to live 99 years I would hope that it was a full and active as her life was. I always thought it was cool to say I had a Great Grandmother still alive and I wish she would have made it to 100 years, but we were all blessed to have known her.

I know she is up there with her family that has passed before her and she was greeted with joy and happiness at her returning home. And I'm sure she's still grabbing all the guys butts. It's nice knowing I have someone else up there watching out for me. And knowing that whenever it is my time to go, I will be greeted by her (even if she calls me pudgy!) makes this all a little easier.

Now I know more ABCD's..

Long time no post, eh? Anyway, here is a cute video to tie you over until I feel like doing a real post!

Relief Society President.. again?

Yep, that's right. One of THREE relief society presidents, that is. Our ward is split up into three relief society's and three elders quorums. Weird, but true. So I am president of the third one. Not a surprise to anyone, really. But the surprise was when I got my list of sisters I literally only knew two of them. So I had to pick my presidency all by the Spirit. And I'm happy with the way things have turned out. I think I have three amazing girls who all seem eager and willing to help in anyway. And most importantly they seem EXCITED. I got a great presidency before too, don't get me wrong. But none of us knew each other. We all met right before we got set apart. But I feel really good about that.

I also got a job. Evan's dad got me an interview with his work (Valcom) and I got the job! I will be doing outbound sales calls. Basically they do IT seminars and I will be calling businesses to set up people to come. I'm nervous since i've never done it, but excited at the same time. A paycheck coming in is always good! And it's a learning experience. Hopefully I'll get a car then! haha I need a new(er) one. Mine is going to crap out any day now, really.

But besides that, nothing new is going on. Happy Memorial Day!!!!