Change...

I feel like I haven't posted here in forever.. and it's true. So what better time to write something then now?

Change. Change sucks. Change is amazing. Change is necessary. Change is what makes the world go around. Then why is it so hard sometimes?

Anyway, why is change on my mind? Because I'm changing! What?! Nicky? NEVER! Oh I am... Well, at least what ward I'm going too. And no, sadly it's not because I'm getting married (still as single as ever.. willing to be set up. winkwink).

For the last couple of months I've been feeling like I need a change. Something needs to happen.. I thought about dying my hair, since y'know I loved when I chopped it off. But I was like enh, that won't do anything. I thought about going back to my family ward, but I was like why? What's there for me? I'm single, so I should be in the singles ward, right? Wrong. Sometimes it's not the best place.

I had callings, I have friends, I enjoy the activities, but something was off. I just felt like I didn't belong. No matter how many new friends I made, or new callings or whatever, I just felt like something was off. Missing. There was something more for me out there somewhere.

So I decided to make the jump. I put my faith in Heavenly Father that I was doing the right thing. I met with both Bishops and we decided to just give it a chance. Just go to my family ward for a couple of weeks and see if a break was all I needed. And after being away for about 3 weeks, I decided I needed to jump fully into the family ward. Transfer my records and just go at it.

Why? Who knows. I sure as heck don't! I don't know what my purpose is here. I don't know why, but I do know I feel much better already. I feel like there is a weight lifted off me and it's amazing. I've cut the drama out and it's great. Sometimes removing yourself from people IS the best thing to do. One you found out who your real friends are and two you find out who YOU are.

And I am. To both things. I'm realizing who my friends are. But most important who I am, and who I want to be. I like being me. I like staying at home and hanging out with my bugs. It's what makes me happy. People think I need to go out and do things.. but in all honesty, I like being at home. I'm thankful for that too. I'm thankful that I have a home to come back to and to be greeted by my niece and nephews. There's nothing better then them running up to you and saying they missed you.

I know there's more out there for me. I know I'll find it, but for right now being with my family is the most important thing. Maybe I should focus more on finding someone, but really, why? I need to make myself the best I can before I find what I NEED. I know I'll be directed to where I need to go. And right now that's back to a family ward. Which is an adjustment, don't get me wrong. But when you know you're doing what you're supposed to be, it's easier. You have an understanding that you're where you need to be and that's all that matters.

So while I'm on a new path and got the change I wanted... I know I'll be okay. I know I'll be taken care of. As long as I follow the Spirit everything will work out.